Freeform rip out of the heart
Oh to be pure
Clean of all the hate
Rage
Disgust
Self destructive nature
In kind of all things I see
Sitting in a chair
Peeling back the layers of skin
Finger the rib cage bone
Key snapped of in the lock

Tilt head down
Hair in eyes
Consumption the focus of vision
Lust on the lip
Snarl

Funny noises in the night
You pushed my face in this dirt
Punished me for being here
Being near

I'll push you
Kick you until you fall
Throw my flesh corpse down on you
Scream so strong you hair pulls out
Beat my fist into your chest

Sacrifice your soul

Just a word I demand
My life she persists
What life
Nothing to give
Puss scar head bloody pulp carnage
Mousy brown kindred hollow cheek

Laying back in the reclining chair
Brain agape for the prick
Surgical needle wielded deftly
Awards his proof
What is your problem
How did it come to this
Why did you let it go this far
Have you ever eaten something that was still alive

Turn my face
Grip tight to my gut
Collapse
Knock head on the floor
A scream of underwater sound
Wretch

That's it boy
Do you see the nature of who you are
Do you want to be naked
Undress for me
Get up
Stop getting sick
You want me on you

Hair dirty and matted
Laying in urine pool
Alley found as home
Cardboard wrap around
Broken boy face
How much ya got
Just some food a bath and a safe place to sleep
Touch me if you want
I'll be yours for free
Just stop hurting me
I'm doing just fine thanks

So what's your story
Me
Just another slut on the street
Paying my bills
Got a nice place to live
Drive a fancy car
All cause I'm a looker
Not so bad
And what do you have
How smart are you
Can't even brush your teeth

Does it feel good to touch another 
Body naked flesh
I would not know
Just push blood pump
Faster faster faster
Image to feed the perversion
First a succulent plastic doll
Then younger
Then boy
Then abuse
Then dead
Then dead girl
Being eaten by large woman

Put the gun to your face
Worship the lead and the powder
Observe devastation
Fail to resist torment
Empty your cranium
Empty mine

I got all the electrons banging away
Shooting at me
In chaos structure
Perceive them as the man on the hill wants
I want them so bad
Shoot me up
Lay back to drool
In stagnant bliss

Someday to make them
Ecstasy
If only I were good enough

Make the money
Pay those bills
Finished with them
Get more
Cycle through it all
Believe them when they tell me 
My dreams can be bought
It's true
With the dollar you can have anything you want
Who cares if it's lies
They lie because you want them to
So lie to me
Tell me you care
Did you say that you give a damn
Well to bad
I want to urinate in your eyes
Maybe then you will see the truth
And smell it's vile

A doctor shoves his wife
He does not see her
He sees the man child
That demon that he hates
Fills with chemical
Yet there is no control
No order is obeyed
Why must the beast defy his law
So tonight she will die
Put a knife in her back
Molest her like the boy his sister

A monkey in the Sahara
Laying on his back
Staring at the sun
Touching his toes
The big cat feels strong today
She is ready to taste
Curves and lines
To hell with the screams
What is descent about it
And what does it matter

Nature knows no bounds
Clear of head
Perfect focus
Found in conversation with air
Breath it in
Drowning in the depths of the ocean
There life ends pure

I'm going to escape
Get in my car and drive so far
Keep going until the money is gone
Sell off the transportation
Sell my ass
Get a place to call dirty hell
Scar my flesh
Shave my head
Condemn myself for not being who I wish I was

An artist
Ha
What a crock
There is no future in that
Be big and strong
Don't think
It will hurt you too much
Foolish actions taken by the wasted dreamer
When is he going to realize this is not his world
That no matter how much he fights he will never win
He lost this war long before he was born
We don't need another visionary
Nobody wants another voice 
Trying to explain everything to them
They got it all figured out already
And more than willing to tell you so

I've been a creative spirit since I was a baby
Next to my crib my parents had placed a mirror
I would stare in to it
Distort my face
When I grew tired of that 
I would use my own shit to paint a new image
Art in the natural

Again when I was a babe
Long has been my love of leather
My favorite toy was a shoe
Crawling about my house with it in my mouth

Growing up
Had to come eventually
How much does it cost
Do you know how much we spend on you
Talking behind my back
Obviously loud enough for me to overhear
He does not care anything about what he does to us
He just wants,
Never thinks about how hard we have to work 
For that money

Schooling came
Regular places not good enough for them
Force the doctrine of family gods upon me in private
Private choice too far to live at home
During weektime structure forced away from parents
To be with grandmother
Love for me great
Lust for a book greater

Their god is a joke
A leader of the blind lemmings
Play that flute

Time came when cost to keep me there too high
No money to stay under their god's thumb
Public went the purchased boy
In private uniform
Possessing advanced knowledge gained from seclusion
Different
To much so at crucial time
Rejected by peers
Some did not 
They lived so far
And never returned following year
How to be like them
Be dumb
Dress like them
Must be accepted
No matter what the cost
Those that purchase refused to understand

More books to be worshiped
Pull away
Become dark
Create
But not for them
Only for me
Occasionally others that hid from the light were found
They were the haves
I the have not

I grew up in a trailer park
All that I called friends there
Dead or jailed
My closest killed himself as swat team stormed
He was a friend
He stole from me
Broke my things
I always punished for their cost

Years proceed
Leave the haves behind
Befriend the have nots
Watch them indulge in their vises
Sex and drug
Clean and pure I retain
Contempt for their pleasure
Every attempt made failure
Live life through them
No way to experience

Creating still
Write
Draw

Always how much it costs

Too much going on in my head
I spent so much time alone in the crowd
Fell inside the dark tar inside this chest
Wanted to end it all
Suicide
Tried
Failed
In that and in education

How much is that going to cost

Demand college
An escape
Freedom
Happy for a time
So this is love
I loved her so much
Too much to waste time on projects or testing
She left me for the past
I left myself

Kept on pushing
Burning the candle at both ends
As my heart crumbled
Trying in failed attempt to repair it

This is costing too much

Give me time to rest
Collect myself
Get my soul together
Sure
Come on home
You can always return
Really

Hahahahahahahaha

Fool
That would cost too much
So suffer
Build yourself strong
Your mind would cost too much
So stop trying to think
It's over for you

You can't create
Just give in
Play the game
Abide by the rules you were raised on
You can not escape who you are

What do you want
Us to be proud of a dreamer
Yeah right
How much will that cost

A man now
If I want to dream have to flip the bill
How
Not smart enough
No paper to prove such
Not talented enough
Not enough for it to be documented

Stuck
Without hope

My mind too much to be trapped in this broken shell