- Wednesday, October 07, 1998 at 04:52:07 (EDT)
missing isn't worth it
- Tuesday, September 15, 1998 at 22:39:37 (EDT)
laughing laughing laughing
shut the fuck up
concentrate on the dreams you can make come true
stop wasting all your sperm on someone who aint nevah gonna taste it, yo
know what i'm sayin, g?
again. laugh. again.
whine whine whine
and don't fucking look at me like i don't know
i do know
anyone reading this
should be outside playing
instead of falling prey to what they will never have
which is reality here
this is a tool
this is not real
don't get bent out of shape that i'm saying this
and now i've grown up
so i'm not crying anymore
move along, move along
one fails you, another may not
yah. that's what i thought...
you don't really mean it
or maybe you do...
eggs in the morning
"it's really odd being in your world"
no no no
"*i can be cruel...i don't know why.*"
fuck. i'll get back to you on that one.
"you were one of the three"
random boy made me smile
don't look now but...
fight fight fight
tonight maybe a late night
cut my thumb
fell asleep with his smile on my lips
we shouldn't be apart
you'll always be my whore
in my heart
you like that, color boy?
so hard to stop
but i'm working
i can be strong if i really try
if i can just get the word "no" out
then run into the bathroom to vomit
whichever comes first
keep me from being crazy
i gotta go away from it all
"and i'm in trouble for the things i need"
dunno how many people read this anyway...
rockin sex last night
right at the end. bubye. that's all. i'm ready for the real world now.
wherever that crusty place is.
isn't there anyone stronger than me, who i can be with, who will help me from doing crazy things to myself?
my leg hurts. it's cut. and i'm stupid.
ok ok. back to daytime dreams.
maybe they really are all i have left.
don't you wanna be needed too?"
this lonely tear has been trickling down for a while now
well if you need me, i'm here
"cause i need more time
yes i need more time
just to make things right..."
- Thursday, May 21, 1998 at 00:44:22 (EDT)
"i need truth before belief"
- Friday, May 15, 1998 at 23:57:14 (EDT)
"i've gone, and done it again"
i make them all hate me
i can imagine a lot of jealousy going round...
perhaps that wouldn't have to happen if...
nevermind. keep your dreams.
i'm so damn tired of idealism
it's fucking the world up
i wish it didn't have to be this way
but it makes me crazy and reality always comes to dissapoint
and it annoys me when i see it in others
why can't you understand that?
if i could tell the world to shut up right now, i would.
and it's so hard not being able to help you.
both you and i need to forget the past.
"all these changes taking place
i wish i'd seen the place
but no one's ever taken me"
what's that one idiom...the one about tripping when moving too fast or whatever?
(trip not little star)
"i just want to scream hello
it's so damn easy for him to make me smile...
it's so damn easy for him to move me to need...
the "dream" can lie.
the "dream" can be evasive.
the "dream" can break.
nothing is essential.
i guess the choice that must be made is whether fleeting moments
being "the most special" to someone is a pipe dream.
don't want for that.
you are one of many.
one month they're obsessed with you
the next month, they're obsessed with someone else
and you're sposed to trust people?
you're sposed to feel important?
you're sposed to believe in people when their emotions
are like water faucets
turn on turn off turn on turn off
make up your fucking mind but don't sit there and tell me you love me and then when you don't get the answer you want, move on with the blink of an eye to someone else.
you can't move through this world being a strobe light.
don't you ever throw words around because they mean something.
we knew we couldn't belong under the same stars
we knew that we didn't belong
the whole way
but does he know that i wanted to?
does he know that i wanted all of it?
good people never get the breaks
or what they want...
"only the good die young"
heartache always present, it seems
and we all wonder why it's so much easier to pour out sorrow
i see your eyes and my inner thighs become wet
my body tenses
i can't breathe
all of a sudden i want your fingers tongue anything inside of me
i just want to hold you inside me and not let go
it seems as though there is nothing else that i want except you
going nowhere but further inside
is that love?
is that sex?
is that all?
and what i want to know is if there is anything that can possibly make me more euphoric...
- Sunday, April 26, 1998 at 23:18:13 (EDT)