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Previous: 4/26-4/30 5/03-5/10 5/11-5/21 5/23-5/28 5/29-6/04 6/05-6/10 6/11-6/15 6/16-6/26 does that mean i am a little less insane? not quite my psychosis runs deeper than that my paranoia of self doubt greater - "have they abandoned me?" they reject me my own mind does not accept who i am i listen, and listen hard a few whispers as if the voices speak not from their own soul the rejection theme is prevailing in my life not it a way that hurts me more puzzeling and frustrating i am very happy with the beast that i am an artist, geek, bad poet, romantic, type thingy but on the outside of this book the cover is very plain why reach to my shelf when the flashy magazine is just over there sure the pages say nothing, and it's mostly ads but i don't look interesting no piercings or tattoos normal hair, normal cloths no excellence of physiqe to speak of nothing all that unique and that doesn't bother me but it bothers them and i hate them for it shallow evil bastards but i don't want to be alone i want to know the pleasure of a long kiss talking about love and dreaming i desire these things but unless i change myself i can not have them screw it i'm tired of the fight and to be completely rude if you are not in visiting distance i don't wanna hear shit from you about this entry! - Thursday, May 21, 1998 at 16:19:36 (EDT) i have aspirations - Wednesday, May 20, 1998 at 16:00:28 (EDT) I'm one of those types that could probably be a happy prisoner of war as long as there was a bug in my cell to look at. -Edward O. Wilson - Tuesday, May 19, 1998 at 14:42:51 (EDT) i made a mistake purchased a game ultima online completely distracted - Tuesday, May 19, 1998 at 00:55:26 (EDT) oh hello were you expecting me to write in this thing gee it must have escaped me time is just dripping off my skull like this sleep depravation headache i like to deprive myself of things xcept food bn doesn't think i'm fat though what does he know everyone thinks he is handsome i just think he is silly i need to win the lottery so i can be home sleepin like he is right now grrrr blah well it's lunch time if i remember - Friday, May 15, 1998 at 12:46:51 (EDT) voices in my head whisper words that spawn images  
- Thursday, May 14, 1998 at 06:28:49 (EDT) Car insurance companies are evil i am convinced that they have a deal with repair shops so the cost of most repairs is just $10-20 above your deductable that way you pay for the repair out of your pocket and STILL pay the insurance people $200 a month yup, I'm a single male under the age of 25 - Wednesday, May 13, 1998 at 13:57:13 (EDT) music on my mind J Church and words - Tuesday, May 12, 1998 at 18:06:23 (EDT) ok i'm going to be totally superficial for a moment and drool over a stunning artsy geek gurl some smart video game company exec has GOT to offer her a job a face like that could sell any game and i bet she could pummel any cyberjock that comes along too wow T0nka - Bridget Fitzgerald... man oh man - Monday, May 11, 1998 at 20:07:03 (EDT) i think my life is pretty nifty in fact i think it's down right enchanted i always see these neato connections in my thoughts and life like today SiD is my baby, i've put a great deal of work into it i'm proud of it and i finally think it's ready to be viewed by more than just my friends i really appreciate all those that have stuck in there since the start you've helped me more than you know but it's time for traffic right well there is the banner option but no way am i going to compramise my style just for the possibility of some hits so i went to yahoo and looked up: "(insert adjective) site of the (insert measurement of time)" web sites with full intent on submitting SiD but they all asked me to describe the site ??? it's where i do my stuff i don't know how to contain this beast in a paragraph i tried and we will see what happens but man... it's been buggin me all day so tonight when i get home from work i do some surfing check out Justin Hall he has not done much lately 'cus he's been doing the thesis thang and frankly i don't much care for the eyeball GUI but i shot through a couple links i always follow the little ones at the bottom usually the most interesting today being no exception i found this if you have a web space anywhere you should read that it's old ('95) but holds true as much as the day he wrote it but two lines struck me "Beware anything that tells you what it is. That is marketing." "Things should just be. Critics can talk about them. If you are talking about what you are doing, you aren't doing it." and that made me feel better about not being able to label SiD almost happy about it a mental note: Laundry takes waaaaaaay to much time! i'd gladly pay someone $50 bones a month to do mine for me i NEED to do some tonight but i also told the Richmond Performing Arts Collective i'd do a flyer for them they needed it last week it's tonight or never and they are my friends i don't wanna let 'em down so i may go another day in wrinkled duds that stinks LOL, bad pun - Monday, May 11, 1998 at 18:44:34 (EDT) well I've resisted putting advertising on my site for some time only those resources i've been directly associated with have gotten space but SiD is becoming mature enough to spread the word so i'm going to pick some places to give linkage to the first one is an arts site so how can you go wrong w/ that?  - Monday, May 11, 1998 at 13:55:25 (EDT) just capped off some Arizona Green Tea and i'm set so yeah baby, yeah, shagadelic hi lisa tanks for the compliments sorry it breaks your browser an FYI for everyone: SiD is only tested on Netscape 4.0 PC if it has problems on your system email me and tell me exactly what page i might see if i can fix it :) so lis i looked at your page nice use of the Chank Font eclectic as ever back to work for me HTML 24/7 - Monday, May 11, 1998 at 13:03:58 (EDT) 83 new files online another full day of working on the site i'm tired very tired i ask you to be my proofreaders if you would email me the typos you find and of course comment on the content ;) - Monday, May 11, 1998 at 02:37:37 (EDT) |   |